Mark Mazzei

BK3 plot hinted at?

Will Banjo find love with Grunty? Nah, don’t be ridiculous.

Ah, April Fool’s Day in the internet age. We’ve all fallen for them at least once in our lives, but after that we learn quickly to be cynical until proven otherwise this fine day.

So we know that the Stop ‘N’ Swop website isn’t from Rare themselves, but a clever hoax from the Rare Witch Project.

Fake Stop

This April Fool’s, however, Rare has decided to make us play a game. Said game is to guess the plot of the new Banjo-Kazooie game, with no reward except internal happiness when the plot’s revealed. Since you’ve come to this fine site to read up on the latest Rare news, here there be theories and our responses:

  • “Rumour One: Banjo and Grunty team up against a new threat, falling in love in the process. - Sexy post-transformation Grunty makes a return and proves irresistible to our heroic bear, much to Kazooie’s disgust. Can the mismatched trio defeat their fire-breathing foe?”
    Ignoring the very wrong, wrong prospect of interspecies relationship, this one is the most unlikely, if not one of the most. If the Christmas 2007 teaser card has any merit, we see a picture of Gruntilda’s restored body, and it’s nothing like the gorgeous green body of B-K’s infamous Game Over scene.
  • “Rumour Two: Kazooie is abducted by aliens and Banjo heads out to search the cosmos. - Partway through his low-gravity exploits, he discovers who’s taken her… and it’s a familiar face from the Rare archives who has been ‘turned to the green side’ by Grunty.”
    All these years in development, and Rare all this time planned a Super Banjo Galaxy? Of course it’d bring fuel to the fire that all Rare does is take from Nintendo’s ideas and makes them better, but it makes no sense. Although Clanker in space would be an interesting sight to see.
  • “Rumour Three: Banjo and Kazooie travel back through time in pursuit of the witch’s giant T.I.T. - Grunty drives her Time Interfering Truck back to before the bear and bird met. The duo must reintroduce themselves and relearn everything they know in a completely new way!”
    While I can’t speak for the entire MundoRare staff, this one makes the most sense, personally. We’ve heard about past characters and locations coming back, so unless all the boulders from Grunty’s Lair have been magically or laboriously removed, there might be truth to this titillating theory.
  • “Rumour Four: Banjo comes out of retirement to stop his home being redeveloped into tower blocks and malls. - To end the struggle, a capricious higher power engineers a bear/witch showdown through worlds of the imagination – with Spiral Mountain’s ownership deeds going to the victor.”
    Sounds interesting, but it begs the question: Banjo got his home back? True, it’s been eight years, but Banjo isn’t the brightest tool in the toolbox.
  • “Rumour Five: War comes to Spiral Mountain, and Banjo becomes a reluctant leader. - Ever seen a Jinjo Tank? Or Grunty’s Grappling Grenadier Grunts? You will when you take on our innovative RTS-platformer hybrid campaign.”
    So it’s Banjo: Live and Retuned. Rare’s always joked about making their games more relatable to the gun-toting Xbox 360 market. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.

One of these five stories are true. Which one do you believe has merit? Rare invites you to send your bear-brained theories to Scribes, so if you have the hopes of being shot down, carry on, brave reader.

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Our readers say...

By Cammiluna

I hope the most absurd, not-obvious rumor ends up being the true one!

By mini-frizz

I swear it would be number 4. The whole battling through “worlds of the imagination” sounds spot on. Looking at the X06 trailer, it all makes sense, the new blocky, more dream-like look of the characters and the way a pencil is drawing the room they are in as if somebody is creating it through their “imagination”. Think about it this would change the way everything in the game works, with the worlds being generated according to the way you explore them. As it was stated by rare, the difficulty of the jiggy tasks will differ depending on the way you approach them. This new dream-world that banjo and kazooie are stuck in will explain not only their new look, but the supposed new gameplay mechanics as well.


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